The Test

WORLD HISTORY

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.

Be brief and concise, yet specific.

ASTRONOMY

Define the universe; give three examples.

MEDICINE

You will be provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected.

You have 15 minutes.

COMPUTER SCIENCE

Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, create a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.

Calm them.

You may use any ancient language except Latin, Hebrew, or Greek.

CIVIL ENGINEERING

This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

MECHANICAL ENGINEERING

The disassembled parts of a howitzer have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.

Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING

You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.

BIOLOGY

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500,000 years earlier, with special attention to the probable effect, if any, on the Philippine social spectrum circa 1640.

Prove your thesis.

RELIGION

Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

MUSIC

Write a full piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

LOGIC

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

CHEMISTRY

You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death.

You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison.

PSYCHOLOGY

Based on your knowledge of their early works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. Translate all quotations in Tagalog.

SOCIOLOGY

Identify the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

ECONOMICS

Describe in four hundred words or less what you would have done to prevent the Great Depression.

MATHEMATICS

You have 60 seconds to mentally solve the mathematical problem below.

Begin.

8,256.091 + _________ - ________ x ________ ¸ _______ = -38.07623

(Bonus question: Why is 11 not pronounced onety one? Provide a full numerical analysis in justifying your answer.)

POLITICAL SCIENCE

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

ART

Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

PHYSICS

Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an in-depth evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

METAPHYSICS

Describe in detail the nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

PHILOSOPHY

Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

STRESS

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate. Read the full description before looking at the picture .

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level s at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that , in spite of the fact that the d olphins are identical , a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins The more differences a pe rson finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing. Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.

The Art Of Kissing

The Art Of Kissing

And Why You Should Kiss, Too

by David Leonhardt

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?

Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".)

I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.

Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.

Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.

Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?

Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.

Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.

Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.

Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.

Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes.

Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.

Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?

You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend and your wife.

Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem (CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.

We do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather, readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll look this.

Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be like me.

But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.

Life so far

Life has been really different these past few months. I was at first a bum working only for my dad, and trust me you only get an allowance if you work for a family business. I got a new job as training assistant two months ago. It’s tiring and stressful but everyday is a learning experience and I’m actually having fun for some reason (I guess I’m getting old and I’m earning a lot more hehehehe).

Meet a lot of new people, officemates to members of the NWA who I share some of my hobbies and stuff. It is always nice to meet new people with different perspectives in life.

I'vie also realize something these past couple of days that made analyze things in my life. I’vie always seen myself as shy and quiet. I have great difficulty expressing myself and have a great tendency just to be in the sidelines and watch people as they do their things, and most of the time, I feel lonely and left out when I’m in a group or something. I try to participate or something but shyness and self-doubt usually wins.

That’s why, I’m really thankful to all my friends out there. You have no idea that a simple greeting means a lot to me, and you guys have done sooooooo much more than that. You made my life livable everyday and I’m so happy hang-out with you guys. (I’m getting mushy).

And of course to my honey (she’ll kill me if I forget to mention her). She’s wonderful and most of the time words are not enough to describe her. She’s one of the best things that has happen in my life and I will be always grateful for her

Ok this really weird, this was suppose to be an entry about all the things that are happening in my life, it ended up me expressing what I am feeling inside. J