Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Test

WORLD HISTORY

Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.

Be brief and concise, yet specific.

ASTRONOMY

Define the universe; give three examples.

MEDICINE

You will be provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected.

You have 15 minutes.

COMPUTER SCIENCE

Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using this language, create a computer program to finish the rest of this exam for you.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.

Calm them.

You may use any ancient language except Latin, Hebrew, or Greek.

CIVIL ENGINEERING

This is a practical test of your design and building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build a platform that will support your weight when you and your platform are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

MECHANICAL ENGINEERING

The disassembled parts of a howitzer have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.

Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING

You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem and correct it before the reactor melts down.

BIOLOGY

Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500,000 years earlier, with special attention to the probable effect, if any, on the Philippine social spectrum circa 1640.

Prove your thesis.

RELIGION

Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

MUSIC

Write a full piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

LOGIC

Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

CHEMISTRY

You must identify a poison sample which you will find at your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the wrong substance is used, it causes instant death.

You may begin as soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison.

PSYCHOLOGY

Based on your knowledge of their early works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. Translate all quotations in Tagalog.

SOCIOLOGY

Identify the sociological problems which might be associated with the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

ECONOMICS

Describe in four hundred words or less what you would have done to prevent the Great Depression.

MATHEMATICS

You have 60 seconds to mentally solve the mathematical problem below.

Begin.

8,256.091 + _________ - ________ x ________ ¸ _______ = -38.07623

(Bonus question: Why is 11 not pronounced onety one? Provide a full numerical analysis in justifying your answer.)

POLITICAL SCIENCE

There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

ART

Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should be true to life.

PHYSICS

Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an in-depth evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

METAPHYSICS

Describe in detail the nature of life after death. Test your hypothesis.

PHILOSOPHY

Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

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