| Stole this from Tobs. Pretty interesting The Slow Dancer Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD) Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive. While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships. Your exact male opposite: The Hornivore  Random Brutal Sex Master Always avoid: The Battleaxe (DBLM) Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Sonnet (DGLD) |
| Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - free online dating | Dating My profile name: : ughernandez |
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The Slow Dancer
Thursday, May 01, 2008
What the...
Stole this from a lot of people. hehehe!
Dear Aprile,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our horoscope doesn't match. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa under the bus and ignored my father.
I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men.
I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your criminal record as a memory.
You should also know that I never openly mocked the incarnation as an Eskimo
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Urim
[ Do it like this ]
Dear (the person who last texted/messaged you),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and ___4___ ___5___.
I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.
I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-
1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat - With George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insulted
Black - Ignored
Blue - Knocked out
Purple - Poured syrup on
White - Carved your initials into
Grey - Pulled the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Pink - Pulled the toupee off
Barefoot - Sat at
Other - Drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes -Frostbitten
Lost - High
House -Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - Ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Gastroenteritis
Gastroenteritis is a condition that causes irritation and inflammation of the stomach and intestines (the gastrointestinal tract). An infection may be caused by bacteria or parasites in spoiled food or unclean water. Some foods may irritate your stomach and cause gastroenteritis. Lactose intolerance to dairy products is one example.
Many people who experience the vomiting and diarrhea that develop from these types of infections or irritations think they have "food poisoning," which they may, or call it "stomach flu," although influenza has nothing to do with it.-www.emedicinehealth.com
There goes the steak...
Sunday, April 06, 2008
ATTEMPTS
I again tried to be a little artistic or at least that what I think it is. I do have some difficulty in expressing myself and trust me, trying to express my self in writing is proving really difficult, I'm kinda use to short description like "I'm happy today" and that's about it. So please I beg your forgiveness for the errors. Anyway, I always like looking at glass stained windows. There something about them that makes me stare and kinda feel that peolpe are like them. The way the colors compliment each other, and that each of them has story to tell eager to share to anyone willing to hear or see it.
The way the light dances through every piece of glass. Sometimes you actually feel the emotion that its sharing. Maybe, I'm thinking too much (most likely) and I'm putting too much meaning too things, but I really love how it feels.
So here's my one of my attempts in art. I always try to, but I don't usually have the guts to click save, and it's usually because I think it's pathetically ugly (even a four-year could do better), its to depressing for me, or I feel stupid because I can only use paint with some degree of competence (still studying adobe). :)
Got it this from Lyn: I robbed my lover because I'm good in bed.
Select the month you were born in:
1 (Jan) - I stabbed
2 (Feb) - I needed
3 (Mar) - I ran naked with
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I jumped
6 (June)- I smoked with
7 (July) - I ran shirtless with
8 (Aug) - I banged
9 (Sept) - I shot
10 (Oct) - I robbed
11 (Nov) -I slapped
12 (Dec) - I cuddled with
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
01 - the trojan man
02 - a homeless guy
03 -a homo
04 - A mop
05 - a dog
06 - a rock star
07 – Paris Hilton
08 - my lover
09 - a toothbrush
10 - my boyfriend
11 - a glass of milk
12 - a teletubby
13 - the cookie monster
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bum
18 - a whore
19 - a hobo
20 - a stripper
21 - a porn star
22 - Barney the dinosaur
23 - the kool-aid man
24 - an easter egg
25 - my ex girlfriend
26 - a hottie
27 - a bag of weed
28 - a french fry
29 - your mom
30 - a bowl of cereal
31 - jezzy the snowman
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White - because that bitch stole my taco
Black - because I love marijuana
Pink - because I’m good in bed
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Brown - because I still love him
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I’m gay
Grey - because I’m sexy like that
Other - because I have double D’s
Green - because I love to snort cocaine.
Orange - because I smoke crack
Turquoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Blue - because I'm the sexiest bitch alive
Thank God! I'm not wearing red or other. :))
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I HOPE YOU LIKE MY EGGS
An Easter Sunday special by fandom cafe :)
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
How do you decide who to marry? (written by kids)
Got this from Jak...
How do you decide who to marry? (written by kids)
(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
- Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10
(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
(1) Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (who says boys do not have brains)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
(1) When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7
(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- Curt, age 7 (good point)
(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
(1) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10
I hate weather changes...
I mean it's cold for a moment then it's hot all of a sudden, and having asthma doesn't help. I can take weather extremes here but sudden weather is taking my breath away literally. Hope the weather stabilizes soon before I run out of breath.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
alcohol
1. When I'm drunk, I tend to...
- cry, complain a lot, tell really bad jokes (not all at the same time), and when really drunk forget what happened in the past 8 hours after drinking.
2. Shots or beers?
- whatever is available
3. Do you have drinking buddies?
- nope, but just ask around someone's bound to go drinking
4. Do you get Angry?
- fortunately, if I ever did I was really drunk to remember
5. Do you puke?
- yup, woke up next to it
6. After 7 drinks who are you?
- I can't remember
7. Your favorite drink is?
- bailey's based drinks and beer mixed with extra joss, da best yan!
8. Tequila does what to you?
- churry I'm a tequila virgin =D
9. Who do you drink with?
- friends, co-workers
10. Vodka makes you?
- smile a lot
11. Do you smoke when you drink?
- nope
12. Do you pass out?
- I think so.
13. Do you drink girly drinks?
- Yes, when I feel like one.
14. Do you drink alone?
- nope
15. Worst drink you have ever had?
- haven't found one yet
16. Do you play drinking games?
- sometimes
17. Favorite Beer?
- Tsing Tao and Strong Ice
18. Do you sing when you're drunk?
- very often
19. What will you NOT drink?
- pee and sewer water
20. Are you a lightweight when it comes
to drinking?
- more like a featherweight
22. Do you ever drink Bacardi Silver?
- nope
23. Do you like frozen drinks?
- they're actually very good
24. Do you drink liquor straight?
- it depends on the drink
25. Do you ever drink out of the
bottle?
- yup
26. Are you drunk right now?
- with love (with girlfriend right now this is my standard sucking up statement)
27. Do you consume more than 2
alcoholic beverages on daily basis?
- no
28. do you drink a lot of wine?
- no
29. When is the last time you drank?
- can't remember
30. Name someone that will repost this
drinking survey?
- probably someone from the molokai crowd
32. Hot tub/pool naked because of
alcohol?
- Hmm...who am I with?
33. Failed any college courses due to
alcohol alone?
- nope
34. Ever woken up & said "Dude where's
my car?"
- It's more like, "Dude, what did we do last night?"
35. Ever carried someone up & down the
same flight of stairs due to their
drunkness?
- Yup. I have a Master's degree on that.
37. Puked in a friend's car?
- not yet
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Stella Awards
Got this from a friend at work
It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in
That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the
Here are the Stella's for the past year:
7TH PLACE :
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Carl Truman, 19, of
Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.
Terrence Dickson, of
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more...
4TH PLACE :
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have be en provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
Grrrrr. Scratch, scratch.
3RD PLACE:
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stella’s to go...
Kara Walton, of
1ST PLACE : (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...? Ya Think??!!
More than a few of our judge's elevators don't go to the top floor either!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
A line from a "A Knight's Tale"...
"I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity. "...
Monday, February 04, 2008
Beloved Church President, Gordon B. Hinckley, Dies at 97
President Hinckley was the 15th president in the 177-year history of the Church and had served as its president since 12 March 1995.
The Church president died at his apartment in downtown Salt Lake City at 7:00 p.m. Sunday night from causes incident to age. Members of his family were at his bedside. A successor is not expected to be formally chosen by the Church’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles until after President Hinckley’s funeral within the next few days.
President Hinckley was known, even at the age of 97, as a tireless leader who always put in a full day at the office and traveled extensively around the world to mix with Church members, now numbering 13 million in 171 nations.
His quick wit and humor, combined with an eloquent style at the pulpit, made him one of the most loved of modern Church leaders. A profoundly spiritual man, he had a great fondness for history and often peppered his sermons with stories from the Church’s pioneer past.
He was a popular interview subject with journalists, appearing on 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace and on CNN’s Larry King Live, as well as being quoted and featured in hundreds of newspapers and magazines over the years. During the Salt Lake Olympics of 2002, his request that the Church refrain from proselytizing visitors was credited by media with generating much of the goodwill that flowed to the Church from the international event.
In recent years, a number of major developments in the Church reflected President Hinckley’s personal drive and direction. In calling for 100 temples to be in operation before the end of the year 2000, the Church president committed the Church to a massive temple-building program.
In 1999 — 169 years after the Church was organized by its founder, Joseph Smith — the Church had 56 operating temples. Three years later that number had doubled, largely because of a smaller, highly practical temple architectural plan that delivered these sacred buildings to Church members in far-flung parts of the world. Many more Church members can now experience the sacred ceremonies that occur only in temples, including marriages for eternity and the sealing of families in eternal units.
President Hinckley was the most traveled president in the Church’s history. His duties took him around the world many times to meet with Latter-day Saints in more than 60 countries. He was the first Church president to travel to Spain, where in 1996 he broke ground for a temple in Madrid; and to the African nations of Nigeria, Ghana, Kenya, Zimbabwe and Cape Verde, where he met with thousands of Latter-day Saints in 1998. In 2005, he traveled nearly 25,000 miles on a seven-nation, nine-day tour to Russia, South Korea, China, Taiwan, India, Kenya, and Nigeria.
At a general conference of Church members in April 2001, President Hinckley initiated the Perpetual Education Fund — an ambitious program to help young members of the Church (mainly returning missionaries from developing countries) receive higher education and work-related training that they would otherwise likely never receive.
Closer to his Salt Lake City home, President Hinckley announced the construction of a new Conference Center in 1996 and dedicated it four years later. Seating 21,000 people, it is believed to be the largest religious and theater auditorium in the world and has become the hub for the Church’s general conference messages to the world, broadcast in 91 languages.
Even before his term as president, President Hinckley’s extensive Church service included 14 years as a counselor in the First Presidency, the highest presiding body in the government of the Church, and 20 years before that as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
President Hinckley was born 23 June 1910 in Salt Lake City, a son of Bryant Stringham and Ada Bitner Hinckley. One of his forebears, Stephen Hopkins, came to America on the Mayflower. Another, Thomas Hinckley, served as governor of the Plymouth Colony from 1680 to 1692.
President Hinckley’s first job was as a newspaper carrier for the Deseret News, a Salt Lake City daily. After attending public schools in Salt Lake City, he earned a bachelor of arts degree at the University of Utah and then served two years as a full-time missionary for the Church in Great Britain. He served with distinction and ultimately was appointed as an assistant to the Church apostle who presided over all the European missions.
Upon successfully completing his missionary service in the mid-1930s, he was asked by Heber J. Grant, then president of the Church, to organize what has become the Church's Public Affairs Department.
President Hinckley began serving as a member of the Sunday School general board in 1937, two years after returning home from missionary service in Great Britain. For 20 years he directed all Church public communications. In 1951 he was named executive secretary of the General Missionary Committee, managing the entire missionary program of the Church, and served in this capacity for seven years.
On 6 April 1958, while serving as president of the East Millcreek Stake in Salt Lake City (a stake is similar to a diocese), President Hinckley was appointed as a general authority, or senior full-time leader of the Church. In this capacity he served as an assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles before being appointed to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on 5 October 1961.
President Hinckley received a number of educational honors, including the Distinguished Citizen Award from Southern Utah University; the Distinguished Alumni Award from the University of Utah; and honorary doctorates from Westminster College, Utah State University, University of Utah, Brigham Young University, Southern Utah University, Utah Valley State College and Salt Lake Community College. The Gordon B. Hinckley Endowment for British Studies, a program focused on the arts, literature and history of the United Kingdom, was established at the University of Utah.
President Hinckley was awarded the Silver Buffalo Award by the Boy Scouts of America; was honored by the National Conference for Community and Justice (formerly the National Conference of Christians and Jews) for his contributions to tolerance and understanding in the world; and received the Distinguished Service Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. In 2004, President Hinckley was also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President George W. Bush in the White House.
In March 2000 President Hinckley addressed the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. He also addressed the Religion Newswriters Association and the U.S. Conference of Mayors and twice addressed the Los Angeles World Affairs Council.
President Hinckley wrote and edited several books and numerous manuals, pamphlets and scripts, including a best-selling book, Standing for Something, aimed at a general audience. In it he championed the virtues of love, honesty, morality, civility, learning, forgiveness, mercy, thrift and industry, gratitude, optimism and faith. He also testified of what he called the “guardians of virtue,” namely traditional marriage and family.
President Hinckley married Marjorie Pay in the Salt Lake Temple in 1937. They have five children and 25 grandchildren. Sister Hinckley passed away 6 April 2004
I know that I haven't been the best example of a mormon, but President Hinckley was of the people I really look up to, and i always wanted to be like him. I was just really shocked sad when I saw video of his funeral yesterday cause I didn't know he passed away. Guess, I always felt that he would be there forever. I cried when I saw the videos and I began to realize that there is something missing in my life, and how I wish I could find it.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Urim Means
) | What Urim Means |
 |
Monday, January 21, 2008
IT MY TURN (as promised)
Leave a comment and I'll reply by answering the following.
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.
Monday, January 14, 2008
bangag
I am now officially been up for more than 24 hours and still counting. Havn't done this for a long time, but hey at least I spent doing something like work and other stuffs. That beats the hell out of staring at walls and contemplating your worth in this world. I've drank more than 5 cans of coke already. I'm so really out of shape
